Over the past week, St.Joseph's has been gripped with terror following several acts of sELFish vandalism! The first attack happened in the Secretary's Office, with items scattered across the floor and paper tied across the room. No items appeared to be stolen.
This attack was quickly followed by a similar incident in the P1/2 cloakroom. This time the crooks went one sinister step further, kidnapping the P1 elves and tying them to the ceiling!
Just as the school was recovering from these terrifying incidents, the culprits appear to have struck again! Just this morning, Mrs Devlin arrived in school to find that her classroom was the latest victim of these festive fiends! 
Mr Donaldson was asked for his thoughts on the spate of attacks, however he declined to provide a detailed comment, simply stating through his solicitor that it is a live investigation which he was leaving in the capable hands of Holland Drive PSNI.
Just minutes ago their Serious Crime Team released this artist's impression of the culprits.
We hope to hear from the constables tasked with catching these crooks in our next update. In the meantime, they advise the public to avoid these characters as they are considered dangerous and could be armed with tape and toilet paper. They also believe that they are not acting alone and could be part of a larger criminal gang!
More to follow...